Category: Writers Block
Hi evry one:
Just thought I'd post a new story. Since it was to big, I broke it up in to two parts. If enough people like it, I'll post the next part.
enjoy
Kim Pomatto
7-7-05
My Voyage with Voyager
It seems like one minute you’re a baby in your mother’s arms, and the next minute you’re an adult. When your younger you want to grow up, and when your older you want to be young again. It seems like there’s never enough time in a day. There’s times when you look back and think, “Why did this happen to me, or “will I ever accomplish my dream?” There are days when you feel like life isn’t worth living, and others where you love life. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, but sometimes I feel so alone.
Ever since I was little, I’ve always loved animals, especially dogs. I always wanted a guide dog ever since I new what they were and what they could do for blind people. I was always amazed at how smart they were, and how much they were willing to protect there masters from harm.
It seems like when you really want something, time slows down, but in my case time sped up. After graduating from high school, I was excepted in to Guide Dogs of America. At the time, I thought I was ready, but when I look back on that moment three years ago, I realize just how much I didn’t know about life.
The day I walked in to Guide Dogs was one of the scariest days of my life. This would be the first time I would be away from my family for more then a week. I was afraid to say goodbye to my parents, and was to shy to get to know anybody. It took a little time, but eventually, I was able to become part of the group.
After a few days, I seemed to become more confident, well actually that’s what I made myself believe! In reality, I was not ready for this, far from it. I had let my parents, and teachers talk me in to something that at the time I thought I was ready for. Two months later however, I made the first adult decision I had ever made.
When the day came for us to get our dogs, I was both nervous and excited. I couldn’t wait to meet my new friend. After sitting on my bed for a few minutes, there was a knock at my door and Jessica came in with a beautiful large male black lab named Doron. He was so big and full of life. As I sat on my bed petting him, I was sure that finally my dream had come true.
As the weeks progressed, I grew from being unconfident to really unconfident. I was having a hard time not only trusting the dog and trainers, but myself. I had very little mobility skills, and independence. I was very unsure of myself, and in turn made the dog feel unconfident as well.
As the last week approached, and I got ready to go home, it seemed like all was well. When I got home, my family was both supportive and critical. Every time I would correct Doron, they thought I was being mean to him.
A few weeks after I came home, I left to go to The California School for the Blind. Unfortunately I had to leave Doron at Guide Dogs until I learned the campus. When I came home on weekends, I was briefly reunited with him until I went back to school on Sundays.
After what seemed like forever, Doron and I finally were together, or so I thought.
After being separated for 3 weeks, our bond wich was still developing, weakened even farther. After being at CSB together for only a day, we were both stressed and really discouraged. After talking to Yvonne, I realized with a heavy heart that I must let him go. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I felt like curling up in to a ball forever and never interacting with anyone again.
For a long time afterward, I blamed myself. Everyone told me the same thing, “it wasn’t your fault! You did the right thing!” I felt like I had let the trainers, and Doron down. But worst of all, I felt like a failure. I felt like I had blown my chance at having a guide dog.
After saying goodbye to Doron, I had a rough time the first few months. Every time someone would mention a guide dog, or I would see one out in public, my stomach would tie up in knots, and I’d feel like crying. I had a hard time talking to people about doron, even the happy moments. Eventually with help from my friends and teachers, I was able to move on somewhat.
After having a rough first year at CSB, I felt a little nervous starting my second and final year there. Over the course of my second year, I found new friends, went to college, excelled in mobility, and started an internship at Ano Nuevo which is a state park set up for the elephant seals that I’m still a part of today.
As graduation approached, and I prepared to take the next step to living independently, I felt like I had accomplished a heck of a lot in the last year.
Going to Living Skills was another adventure. In this program, I was pretty much on my own when it came to cooking, cleaning etc. In the beginning of the program, I was nervous like always, but as I fell in to a rue teen and made friends, I felt like this was my home.
Mobility was by far my favorite subject, because I love to get out and do things. I had a wonderful mobility instructor who was both patient and encouraging. She helped my confidents grow, and she always made me laugh.
The best moments for me were when we went on our kayak trip, and our ski trip. I love the ocean, and kayaking to angel Island and staying the night was an awesome experience. The best trip of all was when we went Snow Skiing. I had never snow skied before, so I was really excited to try it. Cross Country Skiing was the best thing I’ve ever done. It was wonderful to go up and down hills, screaming my head off with happiness. I had the time of my life.
In the last half of the program, I decided to take a college class. I decided on ceramics, because I love making things with clay.
A few months before starting college, I decided to apply for another Guide Dog. I was a little uncertain, because of what had happened with Doron, but I knew the timing would soon be right.
One Friday in February when I was making tacos, I got a phone call from Guide Dogs telling me that I had been excepted in to the April class. As much as I wanted to go, I didn’t want to drop my ceramics class. I once again had to make a decision. After thinking it over, I decided to go to Guide Dogs.
The two months of waiting was torture. I couldn’t help but be excited, but at the same time scared. All the past feelings came back to me, failure, guilt, and sadness. After talking to friends and realizing just how far I had come, I prepared myself for what was to come.